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NYC
USA

the crib sheet

oh yeah, that other parent

Brooke Nalle

Well Graham, you deserve it, your 'shout out'.  I have been working on this business for almost a year and these blogs for a little more than 6 months, and you keep saying, what about me?  Don't I get a mention or at least a photo credit?  He, kind readers, is the family photographer.  He appears in very few family pictures (except when I am pregnant in which case I am mysteriously m.i.a. in pictures - for obvious and big reasons) and I always feel a little guilty when I down load them off of the camera.  Our recent trip to Fire Island, you would think that I was some awesome single mom, he's nowhere to be found in photographic evidence.

This post is dedicated to the partners - the partners who do not have milk dripping, spraying, need I say more?, out of their bodies.  Like sweet Graham who kept asking how can I help as I cried, post partum and swollen?  Who endured my 'you do nothing' rants at the end of a long day; a day that he spent on endless, painful conference calls.  

The past few months for me have been a wake up call.  Partners deserve their name.  I have met with a fair number of sleepless families, meeting dads and moms who want nothing more than to chip in and help.  I have learned too over the past few months that I have been very busy that being a good partner can simply mean unloading the dishwasher or changing a gross diaper.  I feel like I went into parenting with the belief that I would do a lot of work, and Graham better do his share.  Should parenting be a punishment between partners?  Sometimes that is what it might feel like.  Isn't having an angry newly minted 5-year old stomp on your foot punishment enough; why do we need to extend the pain between ourselves?

In honor of my partner, Graham, I invite you nursing, often sleep deprived and tortured, mothers to think of ways your partner can be, well, you guessed it, a partner.  

So what is my partner doing right now?  He's at yoga leaving me to bathe all 3 kids and put them down for the night, post swim birthday party.  Am I bitter, ummmmm, yes of course, but he did leave a crazy work day to swim with kids and serve chicken nuggets.  Don't worry, it will even out, believe me.